I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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