I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
