Me. At least after what I've been through.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize