the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
