If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
