I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
