It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
