But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
