she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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