When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
