You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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