Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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