So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
