Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
