He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
