He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
