Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
