this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
