I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
