I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
