we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
