Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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