Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
