dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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