I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
