The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
