Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
