I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
