I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize