There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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