Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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