then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
honey bunches of taint.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
