I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
