Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
