he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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