Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
