At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm always down for nudity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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