I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
