i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
