just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
