im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
