dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i drank out of a bidet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
