I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
