I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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