last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
we're so committed to being not committed
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
