Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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