Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just gift wrapped bread.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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