I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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