I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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