My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
