On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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