Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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