Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
