Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
