buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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