that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
