Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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