Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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