A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
