you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
