don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
