You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
