Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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