i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
