Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
