after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize