I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
