Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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