THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
