babies were throwing up all over the place
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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